Steps the Blog Series: Part 2
John Ortberg’s new book, Steps, is launching February 4th! So, we are talking about some of the content in the book here on the Blog. This is the second installment.
Personal Inadequacy is Actually Great! (No, seriously…)
Nobody likes to admit when they’ve messed up, failed or are just plain wrong, it’s humiliating. But the truth is that failure does not hinder growth. Instead, failure becomes the starting line for growth. The sooner we can accept this the sooner we can get started on the path of real change.
What does it mean to accept (or, dare I say, celebrate) weakness? It means moving beyond grudging admission. In the words of the Twelve Steps, “We admitted we were powerless.” That’s not just a confession—it’s the location of the starting line on the race tack of a new life.
“Glittering Image” vs. Authentic Strength
It seems like every day there is a new teenage influencer talking about their six pack, Ferrari, new skin care routine, or their multi-million-dollar lifestyle. It can make you feel pretty low, or stuck, or like life has left you behind. There is this constant pressure to curate “glittering images” of who we wish we were. And just because you are religious does not mean you are immune because you have the right kind of religion or you won’t measure up which will lead you toward constantly faking it, but never really making it.
But this facade isolates. True change begins when we let go of the glittering image and embrace reality – who we truly are. As John writes in Steps, “There is no power in life like powerlessness.”
The Scale of Acceptance
Want to get more acquainted with your inadequacy? Check out this tool found in Steps called the Scale of Acceptance. Where are you on this scale?
- Reject: Denying or despising the weakness.
- Resist: Begrudgingly acknowledging it while emotionally opposing it.
- Tolerate: Accepting its presence without attachment or aversion.
- Accept: Positively inclining toward it as part of reality.
- Embrace: Fully integrating it as part of your identity.
Tools like this face us to come face to face with the truth which can be uncomfortable, but who promised you comfort? This journey is about freedom, and the only way to know freedom is to follow the truth.
Why Weakness Matters
If you’re starting to feel down about your own inadequacy, stop and read the Bible because I guarantee that you will meet some characters that are way more messed up than you are. Peter declared, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” Isaiah confessed, “Woe to me! I am a man of unclean lips.” These guys were messed up, but they knew God and came to accept his grace.
The Apostle Paul is another example. Despite being educated and accomplished, he talked about a “thorn in his flesh” that kept him humble. Initially, he resisted his weakness, pleading with God to take it away. But over time, Paul embraced it, proclaiming, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Do you get it? It is your weakness that invites God’s strength. That’s why weakness matters.
Practical Steps for Celebrating Weakness
Celebrating weakness takes practice. Here are a few ways to begin:
- Name your inadequacy. Write it down. Talk about it. Make it personal and true. Pray about it. Don’t ignore it.
- Shift your perspective. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Use the Scale of Acceptance to understand your weakness and take one step toward greater acceptance.
- Ask for help. Vulnerability creates connection. Nothing and no one grows alone. We need other people to call us out, hold us accountable, and cheer us on.
- Practice gratitude. Thank God often and out loud. Make gratitude your starting point.
Embracing the Dandelions
In Steps John tells a story about a man trying to rid his lawn of dandelions. Despite every effort—pulling, chemicals, new sod—they kept coming back. Frustrated, he wrote to the Department of Agriculture for advice. Their reply? “Learn to love dandelions.”
Like the man’s dandelions, our weaknesses may not go away. But what if we stopped resisting them and learned to embrace them instead? When we do, we could discover that God’s grace is sufficient, and that his power is made perfect in our weakness.
One Last Encouragement
Weakness is where we all begin. Don’t despise or ignore it, embrace your weakness and be grateful for God’s grace. Let go of the glittering image and celebrate the strength that comes from embracing your imperfections.
By Brandon Gilliam
Steps, John Ortberg’s newest book based on the 12 Steps of AA, releases February 4, 2025. To learn more and get your copy, visit becomenew.com/steps.
