Still Talking about Steps? YEP!
This is the third Blog preparing for the release of John Ortberg’s new book, Steps, launching February 4th.
Let’s talk about the practical wisdom of the Serenity Prayer and how it can teach us to focus on what is truly important.
Serenity and Surrender
Serenity is not a floaty, airy, untouchable idea reserved for the spiritually enlightened. Serenity is for people stuck in the mud who need a sure footing to find a way out. In Steps, John explains, “Serenity is not based on pleasant circumstances. Serenity is a by-product of finding a solid foundation on which to ground our life.”
The Serenity Prayer offers a roadmap to this foundation with three simple requests:
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
- the courage to change the things I can,
- and the wisdom to know the difference.
You will find no answers in this prayer, but you will find a clear-minded approach to what is really important in the here and now.
Learning from Mary’s Surrender
Let’s consider Mary’s story to better understand what courageous surrender looks like.
When the angel Gabriel told her she would give birth to the Messiah, her initial reaction was honest fear. She was young, engaged, and living in a culture where an unplanned pregnancy could have led to ostracism or worse. Yet her response was extraordinary: “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Mary’s surrender was an active, courageous, and a deliberate choice to trust God in the face of uncertainty. She accepted the things she couldn’t control like her circumstances, the cultural stigma, and even the future pain foretold by Simeon: “A sword will pierce your own soul too.” But she did not collapse under the weight of her uncertainty or try to weasel her way out of her circumstance. She, rather, lifted her head to God and decided to trust him.
“Accept the Things I Cannot Change”
Surrender is the acceptance of being beaten, the admonition of being wrong, or the willingness to embrace something bigger than yourself. This takes a lot of humility. But strength is accepting when you need help, the courage to ask for it, and the wisdom to know when to rely on it.
What areas of your life do you need to surrender:
- A relationship that feels unchangeable.
- A difficult work situation.
- Health challenges or financial struggles.
Mary had to accept many hard realities: financial hardship, uncertainty about Jesus’ mission, and the unimaginable pain of watching her son’s crucifixion. Yet her acceptance was grounded in faith that God was at work on good days and bad days.
“Courage to Change the Things I Can”
You are not meant to becoming a doormat, that’s not what surrender is about. As Ortberg reminds us, surrender “is not an obstacle to firm action; it is the bedrock of it.” Once again, Mary’s life demonstrates this balance. While she surrendered to God’s will, she also acted with agency:
- She sang the Magnificat, a bold declaration of God’s justice.
- She taught Jesus values and faith, shaping his understanding of God’s kingdom.
- She stood by Jesus at the cross, a profound act of love and solidarity.
We cannot take a back seat in our own lives and hope that all our problems will go away. We have to be willing to take responsibility for our lives and make habits out of healthy, life-giving actions.
“The Wisdom to Know the Difference”
Discernment is at the heart of the Serenity Prayer. How do we know what to accept and what to change? Mary’s life offers insight:
- She thought deeply. Mary “treasured all these things in her heart,” reflecting on God’s work in her life. Wisdom often comes through thoughtful reflection and prayer.
- She sought community. After hearing Gabriel’s message, Mary visited Elizabeth, whose encouragement affirmed God’s calling. Surrounding yourself with wise, supportive people can help you discern the next step.
- She immersed herself in Scripture. The Magnificat reflects Mary’s understanding of God’s promises. When we get familiar with Scripture, we gain clarity about how God acts, who God is, and how we can trust him.
Putting the Serenity Prayer into Practice
Here are a few ways to live out the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer:
- Identify your “uncontrollables.” Make a list of things you cannot change. Pray for the grace to release them to God.
- Make courage a habit. Where is God calling you to act? Do it. It’s okay if you are scared. Do it scared and meet God on the other side of fear.
- Look for wisdom. Spend time in Scripture, prayer, and reflection. Ask trusted friends or mentors for guidance and help. Wisdom likes friends, ignorance thrives in isolation.
Closing Encouragement
Serenity is about facing challenges with a heart surrendered to God. As Ortberg writes, “The God of the Cross is also the God of the Resurrection” (Isn’t that so good!?!). When we surrender our circumstances, we open ourselves to God’s redemptive work, even in the midst of pain.
So today, take a moment to pause. Pray the Serenity Prayer slowly, line by line. Ask God for the serenity to accept, the courage to act, and the wisdom to discern. And trust that He will meet you in every step of the journey.
Join us next week as we continue exploring the transformative power of Steps.
By Brandon Gilliam
Steps, John Ortberg’s newest book based on the 12 Steps of AA, releases February 4, 2025. To learn more and get your copy, visit becomenew.com/steps.
